Escaping domestic violence in Syria
AMINA’S STORY
Amina lives in Syria. She was pulled out of school at the age of 12 and sent to work, before being married off to an older man who treated her violently for many years. Here, she recounts how a support centre at a local church - which Embrace is helping to fund through our partner MERATH - is helping her to rebuild her life through providing practical, legal and psychosocial support.
“We lost our home very suddenly in the war, as a shell fell on it and turned it into a pile of debris. We came out from under the rubble, in complete shock. We walked for a long time, and tears did not leave our eyes. We found ourselves somewhere in the wilderness and my father set up a small tent that did not protect against rain or air. That night I realised for the first time that war was not just news we hear, but that it was a real nightmare, stealing everything from us. We lived through harsh days in these conditions, until my mother had to sell her gold so that we could buy two sheep, which my father cared for near the tent, hoping that it would provide us with a source of food.
I had to leave school in sixth grade and started working with my mother to secure the necessities of life. We worked in the fields under the sun for long hours, harvesting, cultivating, or carrying firewood. My little hands couldn’t handle this hard work, but I had no choice. I could see girls my age going to school, joyfully carrying their bags, as I came home tired, dusty, and my clothes dirty. I was convincing myself that this life was temporary, and that there was an opportunity waiting for me.
At that time, a 25-year-old man who worked in agriculture and had land and property proposed to me. My family convinced me that marrying him would be a lifeline and a way out of poverty, so I agreed. Just a week after our marriage, my husband started showing his true face. One morning, I was asked to graze and milk the sheep, but I didn’t know how to do it. When I failed to do it, I got the first blow from my husband and his mother, and it was just the beginning of a daily pattern of constant emotional and physical violence. They even deprived me of food, which led to my anaemia.
Things got worse after I had children. At first, they showed me some kindness when they knew I was pregnant with a boy, but shortly after delivery, and while I was still recovering, my mother-in-law kicked me out of the house because I refused to work straight away. After a while they convinced me to come back, which I only did for the sake of my son whom they had kept. Later, while I was now pregnant with our daughter, I discovered in shock that my husband had married a second wife, who came to live with us and made my life even more miserable.
I finally packed my things and went back to my parents after my brother-in-law tried to abuse me, and his family accused me of being responsible for it. They even accused me of stealing, and I could no longer tolerate that injustice. After I told my parents everything, I decided to file for divorce.
In that difficult time, fate led me to the Church. That moment was a turning point in my life. That was the first time I felt that someone was supporting me without condemning me. That was one year ago, and since then, I have benefited from individual and group counselling, awareness sessions, recreational activities, referrals to doctors and to vocational training, including sewing and nursing courses.
The nursing course, which I initially enrolled in to care for my sick father, has also become an additional source of income for me. I now help most of the residents of my neighborhood with first aid and basic nursing things, which makes me feel I am contributing to something real and beneficial for society. Those who are able pay me something, and I do the rest for free.
Life has remained very hard since my divorce, and I am currently living in a tent again, with my parents and all my younger siblings, next to the rubble of our old house. The church helped me seek legal advice so my children can come back and live with me, and I am living in the hope that I can rebuild our home and prepare a better future for us all. Please pray that God will fill my heart with peace, so that I may stay strong and keep going despite all the difficulties, past, present, and future, as everything in the country remains so uncertain.”
